


i wrote this literally to prove a point

by moonorchiids



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Crack, Gen, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Im tired, OW, Oh my god why, What Was I Thinking?, dovahkiin is PURE, everyone here is a little shit, honestly what have i done, im using tags because im stupid, it hurts when i pee, just to prove a point, my soul hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22354699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonorchiids/pseuds/moonorchiids
Summary: Why did I do thisforgive me for the tags im burned out and just got yelled at for 10 minutesi should probably stop myselfactually noobviously this is a crack fic and there's no reason for me to try and be seriousi should have tried harder
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	i wrote this literally to prove a point

It was a cold day; like always in skyrim. The Dovahkiin dragged his feet across the ground, mournin-Actually fuck this  
Im gonna tell the truth; the Dovahkiin was at a pub. He was drinking mead because...actually fuck this too; the Dovahkiin was on the top of a mountain with two fucking dragons; probably reptillian gangbangers right from Akatosh's ass, except one was good, the other was evil apparently. Paarthursnacc simply said "Alduweiner is gay, use Dragonrend on your shitty biscuit tin of a graphics card that dragon-renders things with a rootbeer can." So Ben Doverking stated simply "Okay just go back to whatever you were doing" as he used Dragonrend and then destroyed his biscuit ti- I mean graphics card. Alduweiner divebombed like "woOAOaooaOAOAOOooHHHH-kaBOOM." and that's how Alduweiner went to Sovngarde. Ben Doverking pissed on Alduweiner's corpse and then propelled himself straight into the stars and by extension, right into Sovngarde, with his piss, leaving Paarthursnacc to question "what in the fuck did I just witness."   
Alduweiner was like "NOOoOOOoO dovahkiin you lil shit IM THE SON OF GOD" "bitch so am i" said Ben Doverking, who then yeeted an arrow right into Alduweiner's throat and ATE HIS FUCKING SOUL. 

It was a cold day, so he was like "lol bye sovngarde, im getting my coat."so he got his coat and piss-propelled himself straight out of aetherius. He landed in his original position and spoke to Paarthursnacc, who then proceeded to die.   
"Wow ok, I wish I had ears though" he said, falling over because fuck equilibrium. It was a wonderful day, so he hurled himself off a cliff. And lived because of his enchanted daedric armor. How cool.

I can't think of what happened next, so Ben Doverking died temporarily.

**Author's Note:**

> WOW JESUS I JUST WRECKED SHIT  
> Of all the things I could have written crack for I chose skyrim  
> God is dead and I killed him


End file.
